Forgive Us Our Debts

One of the first things people consider when they receive financial windfalls - gifts, winnings, bonuses, dividends, or finds - is the opportunity to be free of debt, or at least to reduce the obligation.

We treasure the letters from loan companies informing that our debt has been Paid in Full. Sometimes we write PIF on the final payment check. There are mortgage burning parties, a celebration finalizing the end of constant payments and a sense of freedom.


The sense of freedom. The release. Available attention (and funds) to apply to other interest in our life. Ahh...

The same experience awaits my emotional life. When I feel that others owe me, I am carrying the debt. When I feel I owe another, I am carrying debt. The phrase in the Lord's Prayer in which I ask to be forgiven applies the condition that I forgive others. 

"Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors."

And not only that I forgive, but that I be forgiven in the manner which I forgive. I pray that I forgive freely and easily; however, knowing me, it might take a minute (or so) for me to both recognize that I am still holding on and to acknowledge how grasping my hurt is interfering in my life.

My mind is filled with platitudes and analogies about letting go and moving on, but they are useless until I can apply them to a specific situation in which I am struggling. As I stay in a prayerful mind, my "issues" are revealed and I can choose to face and address them.

We are for each other mirrors of joy and distress. When we listen with complete attention we become acutely aware of areas in each others lives where when love is applied, forgiveness follows.

Forgiveness clears the air preparing for newness in relationship with each other. Forgiveness allow us to move on without regrets or baggage, as we release the past. Forgiveness is the gift we give ourselves, the way we claim our freedom.

May your life be happy, joyous and free.

Forgive Everyone Everything

In the last week, I have retold the story of a past hurt and what I have felt was injustice, repeatedly. However, every thing that happened in the situation was my choice. And not only my choice, but an innate part of how I see myself and how I expect to show up in this life.

What I realized in this morning's retelling is that I have some pain attached and nearly teared up as I rehearsed my bit of drama. This is old. It has passed, and I am better for the process. No matter how much I loved my life before or how life shifted after, today I have more experience, more resources, and greater opportunity.

Holding on to this hurt is useless baggage. During this season of letting go, I release the pain that arises for review. I am thankful for the opportunity to notice and recognize the work within me.

I've been reading The Musician's Quest by George MacDonald. It is the story of a young man's search for meaning in his life free of the theological dominance of his grandmother. His is an inner journey of doubt and questions. Following the story I have appreciated the gentle understanding the author holds for his character's process.

Some days are challenging, but I remember the places I struggled in the past and recognize that living in the present is the only reality. Good, bad or indifferent, everything changes.

Today, I forgive everyone everything. When it comes up, I chose to let it go.

Welcome Spring!

Minding My Own Business

Lately, this have been my grand-daughter's favorite reply to the question, "What are you doing?" She says, "I'm minding my own business. J is minding her business. Mom is minding her business. We are all minding our own business." While it seems funny to hear the words come from her five year old lips, it has been a saving mantra in moments I might have chosen to engage in the drama  of others.

As prayerful as I have been this Lenten season, I have still slammed up against a wall of distress. My body is reactive to my issues and it seems there is quite a war in my mind being played out on the battlefield of my body. (Deepak Chopra Soul of Healing Affirmations)

I've been listening to the above linked CD nightly. If I stay awake long enough, I get snagged in the affirmation on letting go of judgment. When the struggle of my opinion arises, I remember that I could just mind my own business. It is amazing how that choice easily frees others from my judgment. There are very few issues I really need to weight in on. As I live the convictions of my beliefs I become the example rather than the instigator of distress.

We can travel a long way and do many things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences. it is born from letting go of what is unnecessary, and knowing ourselves to be always at home. Sharon Salzberg

Being at home with ourselves heals the differences we have with others. We are each of us traveling both individual and shared paths. While our struggles may seem separate, our purpose is the same - to love and be loved in return.

When all your desires are distilled;
You will cast just two votes:
To love more,
And be happy.

Rumi

Continued blessings on this journey toward enlightenment.

Meditation and Awareness

Remember your deepest desire?
Do you remember what you asked for?
Have you shifted so quickly that you are distracted from your previous prayers?

It happens. We wish and hope, plan and pray, then when things don't materialize in our time frame, we move on. That's life, they say.

The Midwest is in the midst of a winter storm. Snow Day!!! We were forewarned. There was no need to panic. The night before, I dug out my Land's End boots. I walk to work. New bag. Plenty of food to carry along. Long coat, and blanket scarf. I would be dressed right out of a tundra movie scene. Yes, I was going to work. While I was at home, not working, I gave up buying my luxuries. Working means I can replace them.

Thursday morning, by 8 am, the city was blanketed in snow. The flakes fell slowly, heavy with moisture, and big as half dollars. The fall was so thick visibility was diminished.  This was going to be an epic trudge to work. I would stomp and celebrate when I reached to warmth of the campus building. I thought about carrying coffee and hot chocolate to share. (I have a flair for the dramatic.)

Around 9:15, I heard the phone finish ringing. I tossed my survival items in the pile and checked the message. "We're closing for today. See you on your next scheduled shift." No!! I'm prepared. I can work. You stay there and I will see you, soon! I wanted to call back. I did, in my head. I knew better. We were in a state of emergency and every car on the road was making travel hazardous for road crews and those who absolutely had to be out. Me, I just wanted to work so I could afford to buy Maker's Mark. Let that go.

So, now, I was out of kilter. My entire routine disrupted. It took a conversation with other people out in the snow, or stuck inside to remember, I love being at home. I have everything I need and most of what I want, right where I am. I spoke with all of my children and my grand-daughter in the same day. That is a real luxury.

My day progressed with a skein of yarn, a cup of tea, and the search for a new wrist warmer pattern. I have worked up four different patterns with a dozen different results. The one (above) I found was easy, though time consuming. Crocheting is a form of meditating. I open to creation through thought and action. I stay present in the process. I honor what comes up.

I shared these wrist warmers with the series, A Gifted Man. What are we afraid of? How is this fear blocking us from good in our lives? Are you willing to shift your thinking for a more loving, more joyful life?

Dear Reader,

You are dearly and deeply loved.

Bright blessings...

“The closest to being in control we will ever be is in that moment that we realize we're not.”  ~  Brian Kessler

Impermanence

“All things that have form eventually decay." -Orochimaru”
― Masashi Kishimoto

It is easy to remember what was and wish for it again. At least for those memories we hold fondly. We forget, everything is in flux. Life is ever changing. The past is gone. The future is a vision, a fantasy, and imagining. Only now is real. We live in this very present moment and every second we spend lamenting what was or longing for what will be, is time wasted.

Searching for the post photo, I realized that I too hold treasured memories of the past and apply my judgement of what was to what is. Yet, as change keeps happening, I may as well let go and move on. The only control I have is how I show up.

Fall brings cooler temperatures, changing colors from green to red, yellow and brown. We gather the final harvest, till under the fields, and begin to store away for winter's long nights. We celebrate these events in the reality we see and feel, yet the past lingers and festers as we hunker down protected from winter's cold.

In the coldest days, we dream of Spring. Any warmth reawakens hope. Any green stimulates the desire for movement - forward and away from now. Yet, it is Winter. It is dark and cold. We can choose escape, or we can open to the moment.

It is twenty-one degrees as I head out. The long walk in the freezing day opens my heart in gratitude. I am thankful for my health and well-being. I am blessed with enough. In this moment, my needs are met. I now let go, living each step as I walk ever closer to the understanding that all that is will fade away.

Everything must change - even what we love...

Yet, Love, remains.

Bright Blessings.

Finding Clarity

Out beyond ideas
of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field.

I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down
in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language
- even the phrase "each other" -
do not make any sense. 

Rumi

This was one of my favorite quotes and I often included it in my correspondence hoping to "force" the issue of giving up judgement and coming to an understanding of "I'm Okay. You're Okay." It was my seasonal practice to tout my clarity of mind - "Yeah, I know you don't like/approve/accept me/my life/my choice, but come on, get over it." This worked, in my mind, until a friend shared...

My job is to be in the field (beyond wrongdoing and rightdoing). To be there, waiting. It is not my place to dictate when others arrive, if they arrive. If I keep putting out that I will meet them in that field, it stands to reason that I get there.  

The only way to stand in that field of clarity is to let go. I must let go of my scenario of past events. I must deny the ego's grasp on our version of events, knowing that holding on to how I see things merely feeds my justification for being hurt or resentful. As I focus my energies in the present moment, I commit to healing whatever happened before and reconciling my relationships in love.

There is therefore, now, no separation.

Separation is the illusion.

Only Love is real.

Bright blessings.

Do It Anyway!

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. 

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.

Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.

Create anyway.

 If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.

Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.

Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

We easily become weary with well doing and long to take a break. As we shift our focus from personalities to the supreme purpose we are re-energized to continue along the path of love, peace, joy and fulfillment.

Bright Blessings in dark and light.